April 30, 2012

Big girl friendships - part deux

I've written before about the difficulties of making new friends when you're a grownup.  It can be hard to break into an existing group, especially if that group formed back in Ms. Childers' 3rd grade classroom.  Trying to join a group of old friends can feel like a particularly painful game of Red Rover.  You start out standing tall, but end up on your ass.

I had a lot of friends during my school years.  When Tree Guy and I moved to another state for a job after college, I assumed the friend procurement process would continue to flow smoothly.  Nope.

I remember that feeling of loneliness and near-desperation.  Just one!  Just one friend and I'd be happy, I thought.  Someone to chat with, to share a cup of coffee with, to see a chick flick with, to talk books with.  How hard can it be to find one new friend?

Once I made one friend, more came along.  That's a curious thing.  No one wants to be friends with a singleton, but add one friend and suddenly she's got the Girl Seal of Approval for Potential Friendship.  If there were friendship reviews, I imagine mine from that period would be something like the following:

5/2/1999 subrbanhippee08
Danielle is a little desperate for get-togethers, but otherwise she seems okay.  A little crazy maybe.  Keeps mentioning something called OCD and that she still loves watching Beverly Hills, 90210.  That's weird, but she makes really good cake.

6/14/1999 acctntchick$$$
Just met Danielle today through a mutual friend.  She told me Danielle would be a goofball, and she was right.  I wish she could be a little more serious.  Does she not realize that she is a white person?  Don't think I've ever met a rapping white woman in person before.

7/26/1999 frmrsdaughter#1
Met Danielle at a baby shower today.  She knows nothing about gardening or homesteading, but she does like a good book.  Maybe we'll have more in common.  She said she's an animal lover.  I wonder if she likes rabbit stew? 

Because I remember well my former friendless state, I make a point of welcoming new folks to the fold.  I'm the person who notices and chats with the new girl.  And it's not just some act of charity either.  A lot of the time, I don't feel like I fully fit in with whatever group I'm with, so it's actually a relief to take a break and meet someone new.  I know that it's harder to introduce yourself to strangers than it is to be introduced by a mutual friend, so I try to spread the love.  And that's not exactly selfless either--I like the convenience of having all my friends together in one place!  I'm all for efficiency, yo.

Which is why I'm super excited about a new group I'm starting with a few friends.  We call it the Homeskool Mafia, but it actually has little to do with homeschooling.  (And approximately nothing to do with the mafia.)  We just wanna hang out together during the day when all the suckas normal folk are at work and school.  I spent a ridiculous amount of time last night cartooning all the inaugural members.  For fun, and for the eventual t-shirts I hope we have made.

Check it out.


  1. I want a shirt!! LOVE IT...I'm the same way Danielle.

  2. my favorite part of this post was the screennames you made up. laughing.
    good luck with your mafiosas (;