October 30, 2013

Not exactly an immaculate conception, but still pretty darn miraculous

Since all 3 people who read my blog are also my Facebook friends, this will probably not be a surprise to anyone.  (Note:  I have more than 3 Facebook friends.  It's just that the other 100-odd friends don't read my blog.  F$%kers.)  (Just kidding!)  (Kinda.)

Anyhoo.  My old ass is PREGNANT, y'all!  Knocked up.  PG.  With child.  Bun in the oven.  Preggers.  Expecting.  Harboring a fugitive.

Here's the proof.  (I wanted to be really, really sure.)

^^^^I peed on those.^^^^

I am nearing 40, which doesn't exactly put me in line for the Guinness Book of World Records for Oldest Pregnant Chick, but still.  How is it possible to have chin hairs AND be gestating?  (This person aside.)

I've written before that I've been infertile for a decade, thanks to Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.  (Which I can also thank for those chin hairs.)  When I was diagnosed, the endocrinologist said, "If you want to have another baby, you are going to require fertility treatments."  We didn't want to go down that road for financial reasons, but also because my husband was afraid we'd end up with 5 babies at once.  We flirted with adopting, but finally accepted our small family size.  

A year ago I started taking Metformin.  Not for diabetes, but for hormonal balance so I could have normal "cycles".  My primary care doctor told me that I could get pregnant while on Metformin, but I didn't believe her.  Ten years of infertility and 4723655 negative pregnancy tests will do that to a person.

But it's true!  I'm about 12 weeks along now, and I've seen and heard my baby's heartbeat and had 3 ultrasounds!  This fancy, newfangled OB/GYN I see has ultrasound machines in every exam room.    Woohoo! 

This pregnancy has been different.  For one, I haven't thrown up once.  But I've been nauseous!  And I'm gassy.  (Ain't gonna lie.)  I've been really, really tired.  Even more than a middle-aged mom with autoimmunity can expect.  

My guys had different reactions to the news.  My husband was like, "It ain't mine." *

*Just kidding.  He WAS, however, all, "You're NOT pregnant!"  I like to think that his reaction was more about the aforementioned history of 4723655 negative pregnancy tests rather than a reflection of his feelings about being a middle-aged babydaddy.  Though his second reaction was, "I am going to be 58 when this child graduates high school..."

Our son was all, "Ahhh!  What!?  Nuh ugh!!!!" for about 10 minutes.  He's been perfectly fine being an only child, so that didn't surprise me.

What did surprise me was that after the initial shock, he was like, "Huh. This might be pretty cool."  And he's been such a help to me.  Doing dishes.  Letting me nap any old time.  Bringing me food when I'm too lazy/tired/arthritic to get it myself.

I've found out since that a few of my friends from high school are expecting new babies too.  It's great to share this with other old young-at-heart gals.  And I have local friends who've just given birth too.  So I'm in good company.  Next challenge:  Finding plus size maternity clothes.  (Wish me luck!)

Wanna see a pic of the little one?  (Is it weird to share an ultrasound picture on a blog?)