You already know I have OCD and a strange nostril fetish, that I am a fantastic white rapper and an insanely talented cartoonist. You also know that Christians (and intolerance) get on my nerves sometimes, that I firmly believe some kids are a-holes, and that I post crazy pictures of myself so you won't feel intimidated by my awesomeness.
But what you probably don't know is:
1. I say the word "rutabaga" all the time.
For example, Nature Boy will say, "Hey, Mom. What are we having for dessert?" And I'll reply, "Rutabaga pie!" Or the person I'm talking to will say, "Man, I lost my train of thought. What was I just talking about?" And I'll helpfully respond, "Pretty sure it was something about rutabagas."
I can't explain it. I have no defense. I'm just weird.
Happy Rutabaga Woman
2. I have 6 tattoos.
They are all nature-themed. These two are my favorites (a dragonfly on the back of my neck, and a poppy on my back).
Neurotic Moment: I have a superstitious OCD-fueled dislike of the number 6, so I'm definitely planning on getting one more tattoo. The poppy flower on my back is in memory of my grandpa, Poppy. I'm thinking of getting a hummingbird near the flower in memory of my grandma. Hummingbirds always showed up wherever she lived.
3. I played basketball and threw the shot put and discus in high school.
I lifted a lot of weights in high school. I felt like a badass tossing that metal ball. I think I was one of approximately two white shot putters in our school district.
4. I have a panoply of scars on my belly.
Yeah, there will be no picture accompanying this one. But here's a drawing as a consolation prize. (I left off the stretch marks. You're welcome.)
5. I had a probation officer at the age of 10.
A friend and I entertained ourselves at her birthday sleepover by breaking into her neighbors' mailboxes and destroying their mail. A crabby, kid-hating old lady called the cops on us. As we learned, mail theft is a federal offense. I had to get permission to move out of state in the 5th grade!