A Compendium of Farts
By Nature Boy
The Old Man Fart - an
unacknowledged fart that just slips out
Silent
but Deadly - quiet as a mouse; stinky as a toilet
The Stalker - follows
you around everywhere you go
Taco Butt Fart - burns
more coming out than it did going in
Train Fart - the
never ending fart
The Workout Fart - lift
a heavy weight & your breath isn't all that comes out
The Part - you
mean to fart, but a little poop comes out
The Fart Blender - when
several people in the same room fart
The Baby Fart - a
tiny little squeak fart
The MAN Fart - a
big explosion that really stinks; smells like meat
The Relationship
Ender - happens at a key romantic moment in a public
place; she will be so embarrassed that she breaks it off
The Squeaker - a
tiny little mouse fart; higher pitched than the Baby Fart
The Movie Interrupter - occurs
in movie theaters; smells so bad you have to take a raincheck on the
movie
Knockout Fart - makes
you want to pass out to escape the stink
The British Fart - a
polite little fart
The Dog Fart - like
Silent but Deadlies, but much stinkier
The Waker-Upper - an
abrupt fart that wakes you from slumber
Musical Farts - when
a family of farters takes turns farting in their chairs; closely
related to The Fart Blender
The Ostrich - no
matter how deep you bury your head in the sand, you can still smell
it
The Ancient Fart - a
fart before bed that is forgotten until it resurfaces in the morning when the covers are
removed
Excellent. Impressive use of vocabulary. More impressive -- making farts funny to me. The one I liked most -- The British Fart. And who says homeschooled kids don't understand the nuances of social interaction? I would like to request an Internationl Compendium of Farts for his next installment. Excellent (: --Mama (with a gliche google acct. that won't let me post as anything but anonymous)
ReplyDeleteThank you for that shining (unschooly) review! A fart dictionary as proof that a child comprehends social nuance. I love it!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd since we make it a point to study other cultures, an International Compendium of Farts is the logical next step. Do you have any suggestions?
Hmm...off the top of my head... I think it would be fun to research historical heads of state and make their farts mach their personalities (:
ReplyDeleteonly had a minute and now i've taken 1.24 minutes, so I'm off.
Have you ever thought about creating an ebook
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