May 07, 2012

Whiter than I wanna be

I like to tell myself that I'm not as white as your average suburban homeschool mom in the Bible Belt.  That I've got soul.  That I appreciate diversity.  That I'm down

I shop at Aldi partly because of the panoply of cultures in evidence.  (Cheapness is the other reason.)  I am fascinated by other cultures, and I want Nature Boy to share my appreciation.  Shopping at Aldi reminds us that while we may live in the seeming epicenter of whiteness, there's a whole world out there.

And it seems that my efforts are paying off.  Nature Boy loves world history.  He enjoys exotic teas and sushi.  He collects Egyptian decor.  He aspires to ninjadom.  And he thinks black folks are da bomb.  One morning after his hip hop dance class on the north side of town, he said, "I think black people are cooler than white people.  They invented, like, everything cool!  Funk, the blues, soul music!"  (***wiping a proud tear***)

That wistful admiration is how I've always felt about Asian cultures.  (The Han Debacle notwithstanding.)  I love Asian historical fiction.  I enjoy the movies with their balance of delicate beauty and bad ass fighting scenes.  I totally cheered for the Ichigeki dance crew in Planet B-boy.  I think Asian women are beautiful.  I love the food.  I think Asian guys are hot.  (Ahem, I mean I used to think they were hot.  Before I married the hottest, whitest boy a girl could wish for!)

I used to speak Spanish.  I was so proud of my bilingual self.  Then "use it or lose it" came into play and now, no tanto.  As is evidenced by this conversation Nature Boy and I had in the car today.

Nature Boy:  Mom, why does Dad not want me to say "puda"?  It's just a Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic word.
Me:  Because it sounds too close to puta, the Spanish word for the bad word for vagina.
Nature Boy:  Yeah, I know that word.  What's the bad word for a guy's manzone?
Me:  (...pause...)  Uh, your grandpa's name.
Nature Boy: (...thinking...)  Phil?

P.S.  He picked the wrong grandpa.

This conversation would be funny enough just with the Phil comment, but what makes it funnier is that puta does NOT mean the bad word for vagina.  (It means "whore".)  And the only reason I know this is that I looked it up on just now so I could tell you the Phil story. 

Disclaimer:  To the Parenting Police, I want to say that I don't include cuss words (in any language) in our homeschool lessons.  But if my son asks me about them, I will tell him what they mean so he is aware. ***

So vote for me for Mother of the Year!


***I realized the necessity of this when Nature Boy told me he thought prostitutes were people who stand up and talk in church. CHURCH! (Proselytizers? Prophets?)


  1. I think you're such a great mom. It's so important to show our kids that there are many other cultures out there besides our own boring Caucasian ones.

    The Phil story was hysterical!

  2. Awww, thanks Erin! *sniff!* I wonder if kids in other cultures go, "Maman/Madre/Mum, those Causasians are so fascinating and we are so boring!" Do you think white folks in England feel this way? Or is it an American thing because we are such a young country?

    Ooooor, maybe the two of us are the only moms who think this way!

    Nah. We're the standard of normal, right? :P