Warranties = loads of crap

The thing I love most about the Weight Watchers plan is that I can still have my daily medicinal dose of chocolate.  Sometimes I am one Special Dark away from going clean off. 

Which brings me to my next thought. 

The thing I love least about living in a brand new house is that when things go wrong (as they often do the first year or two after a house is built), you are at the mercy of the builder's warranty workers.  You move into your new house and everything is all shiny and spiffy.  The builder's crew was careful to tape before painting and paint before installing hardware such as doorknobs, light fixtures, and hinges. 

Then some settling occurs or you notice during the first big storm that your back door leaks water.  A calls goes in to schedule a visit from the warranty slackers workers, and at some point, they eventually show up.  And this is only the beginning of your trouble.

In every single warranty situation we've had this past year, the workers left things looking worse than they did before they came.  They are sloppy.  SLOPPY, I tell you!  And not only that.  They also often don't fix the *^%%&*% problem the first time they come out!  Or even the second time.  And sometimes, not even the third time.  I have to get all Crazy Papers on them just to finally git 'er done.

I'm sure the warranty coordinator guy thinks I'm incredibly high maintenance and quite possibly that I have the homeowner's version of  Münchausen syndrome, but I care not a whit.  I have been more than patient.  Far more patient than a mental patient like me should be expected to be.  I have yet to get all Golden Corral on his ass. 

In other words, I've tried the white, middle class way of handling this situation.  And it has failed miserably. 

We've had the door guys out at least four times.  And these weren't new warranty issues.  No, the problem was that they didn't fix what needed fixing the first three times!  The door situation (yes, we have a door situation) still isn't resolved.  Water was getting in under the door every time it rained.  It caused warping and flaking paint on the trim.  They tried every cheap fix they could to no avail before I finally just said, "We want a new door and a frame that actually fits the space."

We got that.  But they totally messed up the trim with big nails that caused cracking and splitting.  And the caulking extends far onto the walls and is thick and goopy.  It doesn't look like the door of a new house should look.  It looks like someone's unskilled husband tried his hand at being Tim the Tool Man.  Not acceptable. 

So now they are sending a trim carpenter out to fix that.  I'm cautiously optimistic.

And last night the painters finally came out to paint the new door and frame.  (It came primed but not painted.)  I'd been waiting for them all day.  They finally showed up at 7pm.  And they didn't speak any English.  They painted the inside of the door without taping anything, so there is paint on the doorknob, the window, the door hinges, etc.  And they didn't put a drop sheet down, so there are paint drips on our back patio.  They tried to leave before cleaning up the paint they slopped on my kitchen floor, but I was all, "Limpiar el piso antes de salir, por favor."  So they did.  And then I noticed the drips down the side of the door.  So I was like, "Y por favor, limpia las gotas de la puerta."  Then Tree Guy asked how long it would take for the paint to dry.  And they just said, "Yes."  So I helpfully interjected, "¿Cuánto tiempo pasará hasta que la pintura esté seca?"  And they said it would be twenty minutes.  Only Tree Guy didn't realize they'd painted the door frame in addition to the door, so he shut the door anyway. 

Sigh.

Tree Guy's decided that he's going to handle painting and carpentry-related warranty work on his own from now on.  And I think that's a good thing.  He's a perfectionist (except when it comes to hanging pictures perfectly even for his obsessive-compulsive wife).  And he's actually quite handy with tools and whatnot.  He built himself a nice little tool bench in the garage.  He also customized our new closets with shelves.  And built a raised food and water bowl holder for Tank.

And he made my mom a cat playground.  And he restained and retrimmed my grandpa's secretary. 

So yeah, he's awesome. 

Now, if we only had a tree.....

To Be Continued

P.S.  I totally used Google Translator for my painter convo. The only language I'm fluent in besides English is Sarcasm.

P.S.S.  Tree Guy doesn't read my blog.  Canyoubelieveit?  So that pretty much gives me carte blanche to write whatever I want about him.  BWAHAHA!!!!!!!!