May 07, 2011

Presenting...the Golden Corral Incident

I've got to tell this story.  It was one of those days that becomes a part of family lore.  Tree Guy, Nature Boy, Meemaw, my mom (GC Brawler), and I went to Golden Corral for dinner one night.  It was a weekend, so the restaurant was pretty crowded.

Wait a second.  I think this story deserves some artistry.

I think I'll tell it in lyrical verse.

We was chillin' the local buffet
When some skinny white trash dude started to say
Words best kept out of a family joint.
So my mom stepped in and kindly made the point.
White trash dude kept it on the down low
For about 5 minutes, then...oops, oh no!
My mom got forceful; the dude called her a BLEEP!
All I could do was shake my head at the creep.
He had no idea what kinda lady he dissed.
He should have backed off quietly before she got pissed.
But hold up, the crazy dude didn't stop there.
No, he continued to swear as I said the Lord's Prayer.
You see my moms don't play when people act like a fool.
Don't even try to step up, or she'll get old school.
And you don't want that.  Believe me.  I've been there before.
You might think you're winning, but she'll settle the score.
'Cause she's gangsta like that; she's totally phat.
She'll have your white trash BLEEP! slinking off like a sewer rat.
But let's get back to the business at hand.
I was telling the story of the dumb buffet man.
His insults were flying; I just kept sighing.
"There's rules here, kid.  And you sho' ain't complying!"
But hold up, now Mrs. White Trash joined in!
It was two on one, and these folks was wearing thin.
So I told Mrs. White Trash to shut up her trap.
I wanted to finish my dinner free of this crap.
Mr. White Trash started throwing out threats.
He was so spitting mad, it's like he had Tourette's.
At this point the manager finally showed up.
She asked them to leave.  And not us.  Whassup!
Justice was served, as was our meal.
Dinner and a show--that's one helluva deal.


  1. Really!?! We love Golden Corral. It is my kids ultimate favorite, but I've never gotten such a show!

  2. I love it too! We've only had that one bad experience. Tree Guy isn't really into it. He thinks it's an old folks restaurant!

  3. Well written, you make some not good experience sound like kinda fun LOL... it sure ended well..