February 10, 2012

Make candy, not war

Tonight my guys went to an indoor Airsoft playing field for some manly time.  Nature Boy really wants to be all, "Yay!  Let's go shoot people!"  But really he's more like, "Yeah, okay, we'll go shoot people.  But more importantly, can I get a candy bar at the concession stand?"

See, my husband is the one who's really into Airsoft.  As a matter of fact, he loves all things war. (Well, except for the whole people dying thing.)  He will actually watch those boring war documentaries on PBS.  Our Netflix instant queue is all cluttered with war movies.  (Which can be kind of annoying to wade through when I want to watch some quality television.  Like Desperate Housewives.)  And I think he's still secretly grieving the fact that Nature Boy isn't into G.I. Joe anymore.

The word on the street is that tonight's battle was a fierce one.  A little bird told me that Tree Guy, my normally G-rated mate, was cussing like a mofo.  Because pretend war is serious, y'all.

Yes.  Fake war brings out the mutha%$*$%#@ SOULJA in my man.  As is evidenced by the following true story.

Random strangers are teamed up for battle at these indoor places.  A kid on my guys' team decided that Nature Boy looked like a good target for bullying.  (Wrong!)  He got all pushy and bossy and up in Nature Boy's bidness a few times.  When Nature Boy wouldn't do what he told him to, he pointed his fake gun at Nature Boy's chest and said, "You SURE you're not gonna do what I say?"  And Nature Boy pointed his fake gun at Bullyboy's head and said in his best Clint Eastwood voice, "Yep."  I'm sure it was as gangsta as it gets out here in the 'burbs.

Later Bullyboy got all up in Nature Boy's grill again, this time saying, "You got a problem with me?!"  Nature Boy said no.  Bullyboy got all hovery and threatening and said, "You SURE you ain't got a problem with me?!" 

What he didn't count on is that Rambo Nature Boy's dad was right behind him in line.*

*Okay, so Tree Guy didn't actually point his fake gun at Bullyboy.  What actually went down is that when Tree Guy saw what was going on, he got in the kid's face and said, "Do YOU have a problem with ME?!"  Bullyboy was all, "No! No, I don't have a problem!"  And Tree Guy said, "Then leave him alone!"

Nice.  (Note to self:  My husband is hot.)

But Nature Boy's not gonna let his dad take all the credit!  He told me it's a good thing Tree Guy stepped in when he did.  Because Bullyboy was about to be introduced to Nature Boy's fists o' fury.  And y'all know it wouldn't have been the first time

As is proper, Nature Boy thanked his dad...for rescuing the bully from a beatdown, that is.

I just don't know where he gets his temper...


  1. Lol! Yeah, I think the indoor course needs to be a no no for Jaedin, actually, he gets all enraged, but I'm fairly certain that he holds it ALL in, as is his style and comes home fuming and obviously still raging (Jaedin style, other people probably wouldn't see it as much, but I do). I think he does better out in the woods with more stealth and strategy involved. But he definitely LOVES the war type stuff. Your guys should definitely check out the outdoor things when the weather is good again!

  2. I am so glad that you put a link back to the Aug.18 post. That was one of the first I read when I found your blog -- I laughed, out loud, Again. Awesomeness. Thanks for the laughs and sorry for the misfortunes that make them fodder for my evening (; --YouKnowWhatMama