March 12, 2012

Balto: sins of exuberance

My BFF, Shrinky Dink, adopted a husky/pit mix puppy named Balto last fall because her life is not chaotic enough.

She snubs her nose at the challenges of raising her 3, um...exuberant girls, working as a full-time therapist, restraining herself from putting out a hit on her jerk of an ex, dating her Schwann's-loving, hilariously smartass (except when he directs it toward me) boyfriend of a year, and learning how to pay all the bills and maintain a house as a first-time single mom--all while managing her ADHD and worrying about ailing family members.

With this much going on, the OBVIOUS next step is to adopt a puppy!

And Balto's not just any puppy.  He's hell on wheels of the Marley and Me variety.  He literally eats sofa cushions.  I once had to pull a 24-inch long amalgam of sofa remnants out of his gullet.  It was like that magic trick with the scarves up the sleeve.  (I was like, When is it going to STOP?!)  He's also a sock and pajama thief.  He gets all Agent 007 and sneaks into the girls' rooms to snatch a delicious-smelling sock or pajama pant.  He creeps out into the living room and french kisses it until he's caught.

Which happens pretty quickly.  Because Furry Einstein brings his verboten booty into the living room!  Where everyone else is!  He goes through all those tactical maneuvers just to eat their laundry in plain sight.

Balto is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

He's lovable though.  And fortunately for Shrinky Dink, he's very tolerant of her uh...lively children.  No matter what they do to him (and as the self-designated Pet Police, I have intervened many a time), he just keeps his happy grin and friendly demeanor. 

He loves him some people. 

This is Tree Guy and me trying to have a nice New Years Eve at Shrinky Dink's house. 
Balto got all up in our business.

This is Balto trying to mooch some cheesecake from Shrinky Dink and her man (who has yet to grant me clearance to use his picture on my blog, so...) 

One day, Nature Boy had the bone-headed idea to test Balto's pulling skills.  He put the dog on a leash and got on his scooter.  Balto pulled him up and down the street until they both got tired.  Shrinky Dink and I were chillin' at her house as is our wont, when one of her girls saw the "sled team" coming toward the porch and helpfully opened the front door. 

That was not part of Nature Boy's plan. 

In his excitement to be reunited with his family, Balto bolted through the door--bringing both Nature Boy and the scooter with him.  The scooter hit the door frame, which propelled Nature Boy in an arc across the living room.  He flew through the air with the greatest of ease and then, THUD.  Right on his pinky toe.

Yep, it was broken. 

And I'm pretty sure that somehow, it's all Shrinky Dink's fault.


  1. Aww what a cute dog! Also, I've been complaining about MY pinky toe hurting/maybe being broken too! Although it wasn't because of a cute was because I maybe accidentally slammed it into a wall. :(

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Gia! Yep, someone should really market pinky toe protectors! :)

  2. why do we do "getting a puppy" to ourselves!!!?????? thanks for sharing the laughs (:

    1. I don't know! I guess for the same reason we have babies: we just don't fully think these things through! (Just kidding!)