Meemaw

I've got sad news to report.  My grandma is actively dying now.  Her hospice nurse told my mom that it will likely happen before Christmas.  As I'm sure you remember, Meemaw is naturally a feisty lady, quick to threaten to shoot you in the foot if you get on her nerves.  This geriatric badassness was still present a week ago.  She was getting physically weaker, but still had that essential sass that Meemaw is known for.

Not anymore.

She can barely talk or open her eyes now.  She has trouble eating and drinking.  A few days ago I told her I love her and she was able to say, "I love you too."  At that time, I knew that it was likely the last time I would hear her say it.  But I will always feel it.

When her husband, my Poppy, was dying in 2008, his hospice nurse told me that hearing is the last sense to go in a dying person.  Even when a person is in a coma-like state, he or she can still hear us.  I know that Meemaw knows I love her and am grateful for all that she's done for me.  But I'm going to continue to tell her every time I visit her.  I'm going to continue to share funny stories with her, so that even if she can't laugh, she'll be cracking up on the inside.  I'm going to talk to her about her husband.  Her husband who is waiting for her in Heaven.  The husband that she can't wait to be reunited with.

She's been saying, "I'm ready to go whenever the good Lord takes me," for the past few years.  I know she is ready.  And that does make it easier to accept that it's happening.  But it's still a shock.  It's still painful. 

I can't imagine a world without Meemaw in it.