September 15, 2011

We need hairapy

Nature Boy and I have a long history of going in for a trim and coming out with half the hair we went in with.  And I don't get it.  Lord knows, we're not shy or afraid to speak up.  In fact, we pride ourselves on our clear communication style and top notch verbal skills.  As well as our modesty.

So what's up with the hairstylists in town?  You know, it might just be a conspiracy.  I'm thinking they are all members of a secret order of Hair Nazis whose motto is, "No hair for you!"  Shrinky Dink has had the same problem.  We'll go in together, clearly asking the stylist to Leave these front sections long.  Just tip them, please.  And BAM!  We come out with an inch or two less hair than we wanted. 

An inch or two may not sound like much, but since hair grows a mere half-inch a month on average, those snips represent 2-4 months of patiently waiting for longer hair.  Shrinky Dink finally resorted to putting little clips in her front sections as visual reminders for the hairstylist, like the haircut version of tying string around your finger.  Helpful friend that I am, I tried hovering over Shrinky Dink's stylist with a menacing look--ready to swoop in should she get too snip-happy.  My stint as a salon bouncer was unsuccessful. 

Nature Boy and I thought we'd found The One, but last week she cut off most of Nature Boy's hair.  He was ticked.  He's every bit as vain about his hair as I am.  Do you blame him?

So I decided to try a new hairstylist.  I hadn't had a haircut all summer, and while I liked my new length, I needed some shaping.  I found a photo of an awesome layered bob at Hair Thursday on Monday, so I printed it out and took it to the new stylist on Tuesday.  I told her that I wanted a longer version of the cut, and that I'm not a fan of chin length hair because it highlights my double chin.  I pointed to the middle of my neck and said that I like my hair to be no shorter than that.

Well, I got the cut in the picture.  It's almost the exact same haircut, except that most of the sides and back are--wait for it, CHIN LENGTH!  She kindly left me two little strips of mid-neck length hair up front, but everything else is shorter than the haircut in the photo!  I don't yet have a picture of my new cut, but here's a visual.

  Original image can be found at Refinery 29.

The yellow arrow shows the gentle slope of this haircut.  Nothing trendy or dramatic here.  Just pretty.  My hair's line is represented by the white arrow.  Everything below it is gone.  The cute little curl up front (right behind chin #2) is about as thick a section as she left me on both sides.  AND she thinned my hair without asking first!  %#*&^$!

It's a cute cut, but not exactly what I asked for.  I lost all the length I gained over the summer, and because it's not as thick, it's wispy and requires "fixing", which is annoying.  (I'm all about being low maintenance.)  And dangit, I like having a goodly amount of hair! 

It's follicular thievery, I tell you!  


  1. That is just WRONG. I'm flying you both in to go to my gal for haircuts. She's a genius and is used to threats of bodily harm if she takes too much off ;)
    I have to have my hair long enough to yank into a messy bun (ie, no fixing).

  2. Aww, you're so sweet. I might need to start threatening bodily harm. (That's actually a pretty good MO.) Or I need to say up front, "If you cut off more than a half inch, I will not pay you."

    I am now of the mind that giving a specific measurement with an accompanying visual is necessary. I already keep pictures of past haircuts that we've liked in our glovebox so they are available at hair appointments! I thought that was a little crazy--but I'm thinking I need to add a ruler to the "Hair Survival Kit".

  3. ...a ruler AND some brass knuckles...