March 08, 2011

Doo Doo Bombs R Us

Reading this post tonight got me thinking.  There really should be an organization where abused/overworked/underpaid/disrespected women can go and schedule an undercover dog poop bombing of the offender's house for a nominal fee.  (Or, as in days of olde, women could work out a barter system.  You poop bomb my ex and I'll poop bomb yours.)  That way no one will be recognized by the Turd Target.  (A clarification:  No lighting the packages o' poo on fire, or you might end up like this guy.)

Although I personally don't need the services of a company like EXcrement Enterprises, I'd love to work pro bono on behalf of Shrinky Dink and other wronged women in town.  (Though I'd definitely outsource the actual poop scooping.  My altruism has limits.)  Added bonus:  We'd be cleaning up our yards AND recycling (the poop), so we could feel good about our "greenness".

We'd use (recycled) paper lunch bags because they are likely to break when they hit their targets.  And to add a feminine touch, we could wrap pretty (organic) ribbons around the bags.  We could hold Saturday training sessions on Stealth, Ribbon Tying, How To Keep a Secret, and Strengthening the Throwing Arm.

Who's with me!?

Click to enlarge.