Presenting...the Golden Corral Incident

I've got to tell this story.  It was one of those days that becomes a part of family lore.  Tree Guy, Nature Boy, Meemaw, my mom (GC Brawler), and I went to Golden Corral for dinner one night.  It was a weekend, so the restaurant was pretty crowded.

Wait a second.  I think this story deserves some artistry.

I think I'll tell it in lyrical verse.

We was chillin'...at the local buffet

When some skinny white trash dude started to say

Words best kept out of a family joint.

So my mom stepped in and kindly made the point.

White trash dude kept it on the down low

For about 5 minutes, then...oops, oh no!

My mom got forceful; the dude called her a BLEEP!

All I could do was shake my head at the creep.

He had no idea what kinda lady he dissed.

He should have backed off quietly before she got pissed.

But hold up, the crazy dude didn't stop there.

No, he continued to swear as I said the Lord's Prayer.

You see my moms don't play when people act like a fool.

Don't even try to step up, or she'll get old school.
And you don't want that.  Believe me.  I've been there before.
You might think you're winning, but she'll settle the score.

'Cause she's gangsta like that; she's totally phat.

She'll have your white trash BLEEP! slinking off like a sewer rat.

But let's get back to the business at hand.

I was telling the story of the dumb buffet man.

His insults were flying; I just kept sighing.

"There's rules here, kid.  And you sho' ain't complying!"

But hold up, now Mrs. White Trash joined in!

It was two on one, and these folks was wearing thin.

So I told Mrs. White Trash to shut up her trap.

I wanted to finish my dinner free of this crap.

Mr. White Trash started throwing out threats.

He was so spitting mad, it's like he had Tourette's.

At this point the manager finally showed up.

She asked them to leave.  And not us.  Whassup!
Justice was served, as was our meal.
Dinner and a show--that's one helluva deal.

Somebody call a whaaaaambulance!

Here's a little bloggy topic that lots o' bloggers wonder about:  how to increase readership. 

Q:  Why don't we just shut up and be happy with what we've got? 
A:  Because...

1.  We're bloggers.  We are diametrically opposed to shutting up.

AND

2.  Blogging without feedback can get lonely.  It's like you're yelling all your fascinating tidbits and genius insights into a giant canyon and only hearing your own boring voice boomerang back.

The exchange of ideas is what makes blogging fun in my expert humble opinion.  I think we all want to feel as if we are making our readers feel something.  We want to make them think.  We want to feel heard.  We want them to learn something.  We want to make them laugh and pee a little.  We want to connect. 

And we also want to be discovered for the closet prodigies we are.

Or maybe that's just me.

Do not click to enlarge.  My forehead is too big as it is.

As opposed to my usual posts, which are full of practical information and useful tips, this one is a request for advice from YOU, my faithful few. 

How do you increase your blog readership?

Author stalkin'

Nature Boy and I went to a homeschool convention this past weekend.  Homeschool conventions consist of workshops on topics relevant to homeschoolers (how to sew denim jumpers, the joys of copywork, Social Skills Are for Sissies--stuff like that).  Just kidding, y'all.  The topics of the workshops are actually pretty interesting.  One of my favorite workshops of the weekend was "Rediscovering the Lost Art of Adventure for Boys".

In addition to workshops, there are curriculum booths with tons of textbooks to stock up on in case Armageddon comes and you need toilet paper or kindling.  I don't use a lot of packaged curriculum or textbooks (we're more the relaxed, real books type of homeschoolers), so I go to the conventions for the workshops.

Nature Boy and I were totally starstruck all weekend because our favorite children's book author was there!   

John R. Erickson is the author of the popular Hank the Cowdog series.  Each of the 57 books in the series is also available in audio book format.  In Nature Boy's opinion, the audio books are the way to go.  The author does all the voices on the audio books, and he writes and performs two songs per book.  "Hank" even has two greatest hits CDs.

Here's a little sample from Mr. Erickson's concert at the convention this weekend.  It's a song Hank the Cowdog sings as he ponders his options regarding the hen house.

***Crazy Fan Alert***

I have to confess, y'all.  We might possibly have made ourselves a little bit of a nuisance to poor Mr. Erickson this weekend.  We got not one, not two, but three books autographed; I unashamedly videotaped part of Mr. Erickson's concert from the second row; we asked him a million questions about where he got his inspiration for writing; we asked to take a picture with him; I volunteered to be the workshop hostess during his concert; AND I bought him lunch at Chick-fil-a.  As he was preparing to leave, I even offered to help him carry his stuff out.  He was all, "No, that's okay.  I'm good." 

What can we say?  We love books.

Click to enlarge.